Final hours of a man’s life, who’s dying on what left of a street in his destroyed city, that’s all he got after a war that slowly took his life away. I don’t know when, where or why have this war happened, I only want to show the world that wars don’t give you a better life, they only take all the good things you have, cause you unbearable pain and even steal your life away.
Black, Red And Gray.
I’m feeling shallow, emptiness has conquered me a while go and it’s digging down deep. Everything inside of me is groaning in pain.
The urge to give in and collapse on the ground has sneaked into my veins and made its way through my whole body. I shake my head trying to wake up from this endless nightmare, but nothing happens.I just want to lay my head down, and rest my exhausted soul.
On the outside, fire is growing on my skin, making it so hot and raw. I feel a sharp pain in my spine,and it strikes my whole body. The agony is too strong, that I can’t feel anything anymore and now I know that numbness has finally settled on my skin….my burnt and torn skin.
Open eyes and dead body, no not dead. This is not death, if you knew how I’m feeling right now you’d understand that it’s something worse than death. Something can’t be described with words, that I can keep going on about how painful it is, but you’ll never know what does it feel like to be in my place.
I can feel my eyes wide and open like never before, I want to shut them down but I can’t. My burnt skin isn’t helping..
I can’t make out what has exactly happened and even though there’s no one and nothing around me, no one but my burnt soul, I can still hear screams and cries of terrified people echoing in my ears.
I try to move my head to take a look on the other side of the street, but suddenly I feel my mouth breaking into a gaping hole , and I try to scream. To scream at the darkness, at the voices in my head, at the sound of loneliness around me.
I feel the darkness surrounding me, landing its huge weight on my shoulders.
You want to know my story? I don’t have a story, and even if I do, it doesn’t matter anymore because it got burned to ashes. But if you’re wondering what has happened to me, I’ll tell you:I got thrown away by explosions, burnt by fire and swallowed by the darkness,that’s all I remember anyway.
And I’m still alive, am I really alive? How do I know?. They say there’s a thin line between life and death, did I cross my life line to the other side of the road (Death)? or am I still on my way there?.
I never thought I’d say that, but death will be the hugest relief for someone like me. Surviving won’t help in my case, what am I going to survive for anyway? the ashes of my burnt home? my body that doesn’t feel like it’s mine anymore? my loved ones who have been taken away from me? I can’t think about what has happened to them, just the idea of them getting hurt is cruel enough to rip my heart off.
I want to laugh, I want to laugh so hard until I can’t breathe anymore, but I feel tears running down my burnt cheeks instead. Streams of tears that feel cold on my skin. I’m not even trying to cry, the tears are coming from somewhere inside of me, a place where there are hidden and burried feelings that no fire in this world can reach.
Finally, I don’t see flashbacks of any old beautiful memory, pain and war has even stolen this final small pleasure from me.
When I was dying, I didn’t see anything.I only felt my soul breaking through the darkness, reaching out for the sky of my new gray hometown.